Plain and Dry

Let's thank our Veterans!

2008-11-10T13:31:00.003-06:00

Today is Veterans Day. I guess there's no mail delivery. Not receiving mail is the least we can do to honor our brave veterans.

My dad is a veteran of WWII. He flew bombers in North Africa, Italy & Germany. He even wrote a book about his incredible experiences. He signed up at age 17 with his mother's permission. Wasn't old enough to vote. Went to war. Then came home and could finally vote at 21. The irony.

Anyway, I'm just in awe of the type of personality it takes to serve in our armed forces. I'm too scared just to drive over high overpasses! There's no way in hell I'd ever have the courage to fight the enemy!

It takes a truly special person to risk his/her life for our nation. They go out on missions daily not knowing if they'll come back breathing. They put their nation first always.

Thank you veterans.

To order a copy of my dad's book, you can go to amazon.

Election 2008 is over & no excitement!

2008-11-05T14:01:00.004-06:00

Yes the election is over and yes it is exciting that Americans have elected the FIRST African-American President. But, basically this election was dull.

My dad shared stories of elections when he was a kid. He grew up in a small town in south Louisiana where politics was and still is always spicy.

In the good ole days, the kids would gather at the polling place hoping to catch a glimpse of a good fight. Apparently there were always fist fights. The fights, I suppose, were a different form of the debate!

If you couldn't read, no problem. The poll watchers would make sure you marked the right spot on the ballot. The problem was, you'd have to trust the poll watcher to point to your candidate! After all, if you couldn't read, then you couldn't double check your vote!

In addition to the brawls, election day entertainment was enhanced with plenty of boiled shrimp, crawfish and crabs and hot dogs plus lots of beer to wash it down. It was quite a party day. I guess our present day Super Bowl celebrations have taken the place of election day fun.

Now all we get is a sticker that says, "I voted today!"

Dog Park Friends

2008-10-28T09:17:00.007-05:00

You meet the most interesting people at the dog park. One such character is an 84 year-old man, name unknown. But he looks like Captain Kangaroo without the uniform. He had the dog park group in tears, humans that is.

He loves his dachsund, Princess. When he comes to the park, he also brings his friend's 2 big furry dogs, Sampson and Jackson. He just adores dogs. Everyone can tell.

He tells the same stories each time anyone sees him. He tells us about his wife of 60 years, of how he came to own Princess, of his life as a church organist, of serving in WWII, and of going to Baylor on the GI bill.

Yesterday I saw him. He shared a new story about his mother's love of dogs. As he told the story, he cried. We all cried.

He told us that his mother always had dogs, and probably loved them more than her own 4 children. Probably, he suspected, because the dogs didn't talk back! When his mother reached her 80s, she began to suffer from dementia. One day she walked to the grocery but couldn't find her way home. That was a sign that she was no longer able to care for herself. Her daughter took her in but couldn't take the dog. He told us that the day she told her dog goodbye was a sadder day than the day of her funeral. She repeatedly said to her dog, "One more hug."

He is wonderful. I can't wait to see him again soon.

The painting was done by Michael Jurogue Johnson. http://users.psln.com/sharing/Michael/mainMichael.html

Blue Jean Evolution

2008-10-26T21:59:00.003-05:00

I took my daughter blue jean shopping today. My how things have changed!

I remember when I was a kid, if you wanted to buy a pair of jeans, you had to go to Jefferson Feed Store or to a uniform supply house. And still there were only men's sizes available. And then, we'd spend weeks making them look worn out.

Today I sat in the "Blue Jeans Bar" while Elizabeth tried on jean after jean in all sorts of colors and varying degrees of wornness. Apparently pocket size and pocket placement are also a big deal.

I'm not totally out of touch. I did know that there are straight legs, flared legs, trouser legs, and boot cut legs. What exactly that means, I'm not sure. But based on what I've learned from watching What Not to Wear, that my body style should wear a trouser leg. I think the wideness in the legs is suppose to detract from my unusually round tummy.

We finally decided on jeans. Hmm, they don't cost $25 anymore!! All I can say is that it's a good thing I had a 20% coupon.

To Catch a Thief!

2008-10-22T14:40:00.006-05:00

Today I had an all time first for my dull life! I was in World Market buying a box of wine when suddenly I witnessed a shoplifting!

I couldn't believe it! This joker was browsing in the bath department looking at liquid soap and bubble bath. As I approached, I didn't think anything of it because he looked honest. He seemed to be clean in an academician sort of way -- messy but short hair, sweatshirt and blue jeans. When he saw me he flinched while his hand was putting something in his backpack. His backpack was sitting in a cart.

I thought about asking him if he was shoplifting, but being the trusting person I am, I decided to just observe. I moved around to the other side of the aisle and peered through the shelves. He was randomly taking stuff off of the shelves. Then he took off with his backpack on his back and leaving the cart in the aisle.

I quickly moved towards the cart only to find it empty. Then I ran towards the front of the store yelling that he just stole. An employee heard me and took off after him. In a split second, the thief was gone. It was amazing how fast this whole event went down!

Later some of the employees told me that it's common for people to steal small stuff, then come backlater to return what they stole. Without a receipt, customers get store credit. Well with the store credit the crooks purchase something bigger that won't fit in backpacks. How bold!

Election blues.

2008-10-22T11:42:00.007-05:00

I'm so sick of this Presidential election I could spit! It's getting so ugly on every level, not just between the candidates.

My family is divided. My tennis team is sort of divided (1 against 13). Insults are being thrown around right and left. I've never seen so many angry people in my life!

Yes, I am driving around with a campaign bumper sticker on my car. No, my car hasn't been vandalized. But, the other day as I was picking my daughter up from dance class, a dad screams from across the parking lot, "Hey you've got bird poop on your bumper. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's a _________ sticker!" That really pissed me off. I felt like saying, "I'm made of rubber and you're made of glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you!" But, fortunately at the time, I couldn't remember the words so I just kept my mouth shut.

And then there's that poor schmuck, Joe the Plumber. I feel sorry for him. People are so catty saying things like he's not smart and he only makes $40,000 per year. He's a plumber for goodness sake! He just a hard working good ole boy! For whatever reason, he's not a smart man who was able to stumble into an Ivy league school or receive a Navy commission at Annapolis. Quite frankly, I think that he's been smart enough to handle himself very well during the grilling he's getting from people like Diane Sawyer. I would have passed out under that same scrutiny! I got frazzled when I met my daughter's homecoming date!

Hopefully after November 4th, no matter who wins, when things die down, we will all forgive each other for thinking that the other is stupid. Or at least learn to live with each other's stupidity.

Compliment or Insult?

2008-10-17T14:47:00.005-05:00

The other day I was making a purchase at Ross Dress for Less. The teenage boy at the cash register asked if I wanted the Senior Citizen discount. And, when I said no, he gave me a look as if to say, "Well why not?" I just assumed that the discount didn't apply to people under 50. Maybe I'm wrong and I should have taken advantage of the offer. But to tell you the truth, I was a little insulted.

But, whenever I'm buying a bottle of wine these days and the clerk asks to see my ID, I'm flattered. Imagine, he thinks I could be under 21! Well I'm not paying any attention to the fact that the cash register will jam if the clerk doesn't type in my birth date.

To help my self-esteem, I'm just going to continue thinking that I could be under 21, and stay away from Ross!

Let them read!

2008-10-13T13:40:00.006-05:00

Every now and then someone or something comes along that makes a difference in a child's life. In my 8 year-old daughter Annie's case is was book.

The Underneath written by Kathi Appelt was the book. My friend Patti is Kathi's sister. She gave Annie an autographed copy of the book, so of course we felt compelled to read it. Well, at the time my daughter hated to read!

So we begrudgingly started the book one night at bedtime. We were immediately engrossed!! Both of us fell in love with the characters and couldn't wait to find out what happens! After being the reader a few nights, Annie decided that she wanted to read it herself, and she's been reading ever since! She reads everything. The change was amazing.

My son attributes his huge vocabulary to Calvin & Hobbes, which he's read voraciously since 1st grade. Leminy Snicket hooked my other daughter.

So I say, "Find what your child likes and let them read!"

Our kids need to grow up!

2008-10-08T12:06:00.008-05:00

We talk a lot these days about the economy, peace in the Middle East and global warming affecting our children's future. But we need to devote some time allowing our kids to grow up.

It makes me crazy to see parents walking their little darlings into school every morning. I'm not talking just kindergarteners. I'm talking 3rd and 4th graders too.

Some of the best advice I ever got was from a kindergarten teacher years ago. She said that we have to let our children become independent. She said that one of the the best ways is to let the kids walk into school by themselves. This makes them confident and self-assured. Having the ability to walk from the car into the school then put up their backpacks and then walk into the classroom alone is a huge step towards that independence. We are not failures as parents if she let out some of the leash!

I know first hand how important this independence is. I have a wonderfully bright and kind-hearted 19 year-old son who I coddled all of his life. I stepped in to protect him from failure time and time again. Now he's having some personal struggles that only he alone can deal with. I feel that if I hadn't caught him so many times before he fell that he'd be better able to cope with life's challenges. Fortunately, my middle child's personality is such that she tends to push me away and my third child came out of the womb independent.

Quit walking your little pookies into school!! Let them blossom! We don't want a generation of kids who can't make decisions without their parents help!

Road Rage Husband Style

2008-10-05T20:45:00.008-05:00

I survived a road trip to San Antonio this weekend!! I did have to close my eyes a few times. No, I wasn't driving. My husband was.

He likes to drive fast & gets frustrated when people are in his way. He speeds up closely behind a car trying to intimidate the driver into moving out of the way. Or, he flashes his headlights to try give them the hint to move, all the while ranting & raving! I've learned over the years that all I can do is keep my mouth shut & close my eyes.

Hopefully, my 16 year-old daughter was paying too much attention to her iPod & her text messaging to see the example of safe driving from her dad.

Some of his beefs I think are legitimate. Like those "Sunday drivers" who just putt along in the passing lane neck to neck with a car in the slow lane. Or those people who like to chat holding the phone to their ears, but they can't seem to maintain the same speed & talk at the same time.

I-35 is a horrible road. It's a NAFTA trade route and is full of trucks and cars -- speeding up and slowing down, speeding up and slowing down, rubber necking to accidents in the oncoming side.

What a stressful drive! I'm so glad to be home safely.

Mailbox rules.

2008-09-29T14:40:00.007-05:00

The other day I was leaving a restaurant with a friend. As we walked out of the door, we each grabbed a mint. Walking to the car I noticed a blue mailbox on the curb. Spontaneously I said to my friend, "Hey Kathy, do you want me to throw your mint wrapper in the mailbox?" She replied, "Sure." as she handed it to me.

I didn't throw the wrappers in the mailbox of course. But I started to wonder what kind of junk people put in them.

When I got home, I consulted with my good friend Google to see what kind of stuff I could find. Other than bombs and junk mail, it seems that mailboxes are kept pretty trash-free.

But what I did find out is just how strict the Postal Service is when it comes to your own home mailbox. You cannot put anything in it other than mail with a stamp!

Here is the rule from the USPS' Postal Bulletin (Issue 21861, 2-17-94, p. 37):

Mailable Matter in or on Private Mail Receptacles Mailable matter not bearing postage found in or on private mail receptacles represents a revenue deficiency to the Postal Service and is a violation of federal law. Title 18 United States Code, section 1725, provides for a fine of not more than $300 per piece for these violations. All employees must uniformly enforce the procedures detailed in the Domestic Mail Manual, section P011.2.0. The failure to enforce these procedures uniformly may jeopardize the criminal prosecution of repeated violators.

This includes the birthday party invitations that we all distribute by hand for our kids. It also includes those important papers that we need to deliver to other PTA members. You can't even put a sticky note on the outside of the box!

You know those annoyed bills you keep getting for someone who moved from your address 10 years ago? Well you better not destroy it. Only the dead letter office can destroy mail. You must return it to the post office and let them handle it. And, certainly don't throw it away. You are allowed to destroy their junk mail, catalogs or magazines.

Don't take on the Post Service -- they'll go postal!

Kids in the White House

2008-09-27T17:42:00.014-05:00

Watching Barack Obama and his family on t.v. during the campaign, I keep envisioning what life would be like if he is elected.

All I can picture is "Cory in the House"!! This is a Disney Channel show about the crazy antics of Cory, his friends and the President's bratty daughter, Sophie. Cory is a teenage boy who moves into the White House with his dad. The dad is the White House chef. In the usual Disney fashion the dads are portrayed as idiots while the kids run the asylum!

So what were White House kids really like, I wonder. I only really remember Chelsea Clinton, who seemed well protected from the public, Amy Carter, and of course, Tricia Nixon's wedding. I don't remember the Kennedy children at all.

Amy Carter, the youngest child of Jimmy Carter, was probably most famous for serving as her dad's advisor on nuclear arms. She also kept a cat in the White House and was given an elephant by a Sri Lankan immigrant. Her father began his presidency when Amy was just nine years old. I remember my parents and their conservative friends complaining about Amy being too visible in the administration. I guess they felt kids should be seen and not heard, and especially not advising her father on foreign affairs!

Abraham Lincoln had a cooky son. Tad was Lincoln's youngest and apparently had full run of the White House. He would charge admission for those visiting his father. He'd drill the houseguards. He'd interrupt Presidential meetings. Supposedly he ran through tutors the way Imelda Marcos ran through shoes! As a result, he couldn't read at the age of 12 when he finally started attending a traditional school. Sadly he passed away at 18 of an unknown cause.

The Obama girls, Malia and Sasha, are awfully cute and seem to love being the center of attention. I can imagine them being everywhere in the White House. The secret service will be run ragged with Friday night sleepovers of Washington's most precious girls. What great fun for a kid!

I heard Michelle Obama say that when the election is over, the girls will get a dog. There have been lots of dogs in the White House. But, based on my own dogs and my own kids, I can picture the girls chasing the puppy through the house trashing everything they pass! Accidents on the floor? Probably. Digging up the rose garden? Certainly. Biting Vladimir Putin? Hopefully not! I don't see "dog lover" in his eyes.

Chaos in the White House. Well, I guess that's what a dad gets for working at home!

Homecoming Drama

2008-09-23T22:46:00.006-05:00

YES!!! My daughter got a date to the homecoming dance!!! Finally the prowl is over, hopefully.

The hunt started even before summer ended. The girls traveled in packs to scope out the mall. Then the pack moved to local dinner spots. Then the pack moved to area Starbucks. Glued together giggling when they eye cute guys, scaring the prey away.

Once school started, the pack hit the football games. The girls have no idea who's playing and have no idea who won. But they can sure tell you what boys were there!!

The phones are abuzz late into the night. Girls asking their friends what to say to the boy she's currently im-ing. So the girls are on the phone while talking to the boys on their computers (oh, modern technology). "What should I say?" "No, don't say that! I already told you that's dorky!"

Poor boys. The girls make it so hard for them. It's not enough for the boys to call on the phone to ask the girl. No, they have to come up with an elaborate plan. Last year my daughter's date had some friends bring her to the mall. As she arrived, he was standing under a sculpture holding flowers and a poster asking her to the dance.

This year, the boy went to a restaurant where she was eating with a friend. Before the waiter brought her the bill, the boy wrote on it "Homecoming?" and had a brownie with a candle sticking out of the top. The waiter brought it to her while he waited in the wings.

How embarrassing would it be for the girl to say "NO" after the poor boy has gone to so much trouble! I suppose the girl has already told her friend who told her friend who told her friend that she would go with him.

What will the boys have to think of when it's time to get engaged!!!

Now that the date problem is solved, we have to find a dress, shoes, get hair highlighted, get a manicure, order a mum, ...... The list goes on and on!

Boobs?

2008-09-19T13:41:00.023-05:00

Boobs. What's the big deal?! Personally I don't like them on men and I don't even notice them on women.

But they're everywhere! What really gets my goat is when I'm trying to relax watching Sunday football and behind the sideline reporter are the so-called cheerleaders with their boobs jiggling around. What respectable woman wants millions of people gawking are her cleavage?!

Well, Merriam-Webster does define "boob" as a stupid awkward person. Perhaps some women feel so stupid and awkward that having men staring at their chests instead of their eyes will make them feel more self-confident. I guess that if I spent tens of thousands to be enhanced then I'd want to show it off too!

According to the American Society of Plastic surgeons, a little more that 337,000 breast augmentation surgeries were performed in 2007. This includes reconstruction surgeries. Of this total, the rates are pretty evenly spread around the country with 15-17% throughout most of eastern and middle America. However, 37% of the surgeries were performed in states bordering the Pacific ocean and the Rocky Mountains. I would have to guess that California is the leader in this region. Residents of states like Alaska, Colorado and Idaho don't seem like big boob people!

Anyway, while watching football this week, I was ranting about the indecency of the cheerleaders. My husband, who's not a sports fan in the least, happened to be strolling through the family room during my tirade. He stops dead in his tracks, sits down and proceeds to speculate whether a certain anatomical part was real or augmented. It became quite a comical game. He quickly learned the difference. With so much being exposed, picking the real ones was a no brainer.

Personally, I like the Green Bay Packers cheerleaders the best. They wear traditional cheerleader outfits. Come to find out, Green Bay doesn't even have official cheerleaders!! They did away with them following the 1988 season. They use cheerleaders from two local colleges!

Which cheerleaders would you rather watch -- The Redskins' (pictured left) or Green Bay's (pictured right)?

Where's the self-respect! Women do watch football too! Women account for 43% of NFL fans, according to Shannon O’Toole, author of the book Wedded to the Game: The Real Lives of NFL Women.

I say, "Let's see more of this on the NFL broadcasts!!"

Hurricane hits Dallas

2008-09-13T11:36:00.000-05:00

I had deja vu a couple of weeks ago! I happened to call my husband while chauffeuring one of our daughters to something “important”. As we are chatting, he casually says, “Oh Mom’s coming tomorrow.” Last time we had this same conversation, it was August 27, 2005. She stayed for 4 months -- Hurricane Katrina you see!

Now Hurricane Gustav looms in the Gulf of Mexico. So, along with most of the city of New Orleans, she fled! I am so flattered that she chose to stay with us during this emotionally trying time. I’d like to think that we make her feel safe, but I actually think she comes just to see one of our dogs. She has a great friendship with our older boxer, Sophie. Sophie is always at her feet waiting for a piece of bread to fall and follows her everywhere, hoping for more bread. Every morning, she waits outside of her bedroom door for her favorite human grandmother to emerge.

Hanny waited to see if Hurricane Ike would descend on New Orleans. The great weather minds guessed that it would head towards Texas. So Hanny flew home. We miss her, but now we're distracted. Ike is coming to Dallas!!

Want that dressed?

2008-08-31T23:51:00.000-05:00

While Hanny was here during Hurricane Gustav, we headed over to Cafe Express. Hanny (we call her Hanny and why is “need to know” information) ordered cheeseburgers “dressed” for both of us. The poor man taking the order looked at her and said, “I don’t know dressed.” Hanny was equally confused. She looked at me as if to ask, “What do I say?” I told her Texans don’t understand the language of New Orleanians. Texans have their own language! “Dressed” translated in Texan is “with everything.” And to tell you the truth, most of America probably says “with everything.”

The dialect of Texans isn’t typical of the U.S. in general. There’re the Whataburger employees. When my kids were smaller and we always ate on the run, we very often drove through Whataburger. For some reason, I always had a hard time ordering a plain cheeseburger. I’d say, “I’d like a plain cheeseburger kids meal.” The person taking the order would say, “Would you like anything on it?” I’d say, “No, I’d like it plain.” She said, “Do you mean plain and dry?” “Sure, whatever.”

Here’s another example of my inability to communicate with Whataburger employees. “May I please have a plain cheeseburger kids meal?” “Do you want meat with that?” How would it be a cheeseburger if it didn’t have any meat!!!!????

My husband and I had a linguistic awakening when we first moved to Fort Worth, Texas, 21 years ago from New Orleans. We were craving filet mignon. So we went together to the Skaggs-Alpha Beta grocery. (This was pre-kids when we did everything together!) We went to the meat department and asked for FEE-lays. The butcher says, “Sea legs?” “No, FEE-lays” “Sea legs?” “No, FEE-lays” This conversation went back and forth a few more times until we finally were able, through pointing and many other hand gestures, that we meant MEAT! So then he says, “Oh, you mean fi-LAYS.” For the first time in my life I had to emerge from my single-minded cocoon to become more open to regional dialects and traditions.